Distraught Over Love

by Gray Graham

​If you have been following the site for a few years then you will remember that once upon a time we used to write many articles about love and relationships. Second to our faith section, which is about the love of God, those articles were our most visited section. People would reach out to me to discuss their search for love that they were not able to find.

Even after all of these years some of the same people are still searching for love. Others completely gave up on the idea of receiving the love of others. Instead they chose to focus on only loving themselves. Since they cannot find someone that will give them the love they seek, they focus all of their love on themselves because receiving love is the most important thing there is.

At least that seems to be what many people think these days. Instead of this great gift, people have turned love into this obligation that someone out there is required to fill. That is why you see so many posts across the internet today talk about self-love and self-care, but what they are really talking about is being selfish and lonely.

This applies not only to romantic love but also to the love that a group feels. February is Black History month. The entire reason we have a Black History month is because America tries really hard to make Black people feel like they have no love in their lives.
The stories that America paints of Black people is always one of hopelessness and despair. They make sure that we are always enduring tragedy and trauma every single day. They make sure that it is known that Black love does not exist. That it is just a dream. That Black people can’t possibly just love each other and care about each other.
There are few things in life as disheartening as seeing so many Black people posting on social media about nothing but anger, self-hate, hate of other Black people, and begging for the love of people that hate them.

Now don’t get me wrong, there is truly nothing greater than love, but it must be given and received freely. You do not give love with the expectation of getting love back. If someone is not freely giving you love then you need to remove them from your life. You don’t need that kind of pain and heartache in your life.

God loves us all unconditionally but that doesn’t mean that we are able to do the same for others. It takes a big heart to love another and an even bigger heart to love someone that hates you. Sadly in life we get too much practice loving people that will never love us back. This makes most sad and bitter. It is something that they will never get over.

When you are missing love from your life, that is a hole that can not be filled. Money, power, and fame will not fill that emptiness. Possessions and travels will not fill that hole. The darkness that you feel never gets any light because it is being illuminated with the wrong things. We must first learn to love ourselves and once we do that then we will not feel the need to have others love us.

So today, despite everything that is going on in your life, love yourself. I don’t mean be selfish, I mean just love yourself. No matter what you are going through, love who you are today. Know that God loves you and he has more than enough love to carry you through everything in your life.

Once you can do these things then everything in life gets so much easier. Now take that love you have and share it with someone else, no strings attached. If more of us do this then we will make the world a great place full of happiness and joy. Until that day we can let our love shine because you never know if that is the light another soul needs to lead them out of darkness.