by Gray Graham
Recently I reached out to speak with local artist and creative LaReign Storm about her take on relationships. We see a lot of people talking about relationships so I thought it would be nice to get the take of someone that gets to use the hashtag #finewomenfriday.
When she heard the topic of relationships come up one day on Twitter she had the urge to speak. It moved her to see so many people that have given up on the ideal of love. The ideal of love seems so foreign to so many people that they have completely given up on the ideal of being in a relationship.
It is hard to be loved when you don’t think love is possible.
One thing about relationships is that often they are told from a personal perspective. Depending on where we are in our lives is how we think about relationships. If you have been married a few years then you probably never think about relationships. If you have been single forever then all you think about are relationships and how to get into one.
So many people in our society are caught up in why they are not in a relationship and what someone needs to do to be in a relationship with them. Since very few people are going to go out of their way to make another person happy there are many lonely people in the world searching for love.
Even though relationship problems are something that everyone faces, it does becomes clear under close scrutiny that African Americans have unique challenges that others do not face; Storm believes this is due to the fact that over generations many African Americans have grown up in hurtful situations. This leaves them guarded against falling in love and wearing masks to prevent getting hurt again and again.
We often talk about how African American women suffer when it comes to love but we rarely speak about the hurt that African American men suffer. The idea of love in the African American community has become so warped that many do not even know what love is therefore they are not able to give or receive it from others. For many see love and caring in African American men as a sign of weakness therefore it is something these men have learned to hide all their lives.
We then talked about why people today talk about relationships so much. She believes it is because people want to be loved and cherished by someone but they don’t believe there is someone out there that will actually love them. People spend a lot of time trying to figure out why relationships go so wrong and how they can fix them so they can be happy.
Storm doesn’t believe that you should go into a relationship with marriage being the ultimate goal. She believes you should just take it one day at a time without the pressure of labels just the desire to be together and get to know each other.
Today people go into marriages for the wrong reasons. It seems people get married for any reason except love. People focus too much on achieving their idea of what a perfect spouse would be but leave love out of the marriage equation.
Storm like a lot of us would like to see people together and happy without the pressure or feeling they have to be in a relationship. With that said though there is nothing wrong with being in a relationship and feeling loved because we all need love and romantic relationships are just one of the many ways we are loved.
Relationships are just part of our lives, it is not our entire life so if you can not find a romantic love it is okay to be alone too.