by DePaul Fort
Yeah....I said it and I mean it. I know this will offend a lot of people. It has already cost me a few friends, but the truth hurts sometime. So let's take a look at the list.
1. Invent middle names that declare their mantra of the moment such as Keisha blessedandbeautiful Johnson or T’Andrea OhSoClassssssy Washington.
2. Complain about their enemies without actually naming the person, knowing that the offender will read the status: “It’s sad how some people are SO PETTY and can’t mind their OWN BUSINESS. I’m gonna pra......y for them because they need Jesus.”
3. Transform into social media ministers by posting bible verses or just making up inspirational quotes. “Men are like a box of Goobers. They seem sweet at first but they’re really just a bunch of nuts.”
4. Use their Facebook status updates to yell at the stars of Real Housewives of Atlanta, Basketball Wives and Love & Hip Hop. (You know NeNe can’t “hear” you, right?)
5. Post pictures of their Big Chop and other photos to document their “natural hair journey.” (White girls, if you’re confused go ask your black girlfriends what Big Chop means.)
6. To show off their new hairstyle, they take a picture in front of the bathroom mirror, with the door frame and toilet in the shot.
7. Stalk ex boyfriends. This is called “watching your back.”
8. Stalk current boyfriends. This is called “research.”
9. Declare there are no good men left anywhere on the planet Earth.
10. Pretend to be in relationships with celebrities. “Did you see my husband Kobe out there?” “About to watch my boo Idris in this new movie…”
11. Ask for help with such life-changing decisions as “Should I cook Oodles of Noodles or Hamburger Helper for dinner?”
12. Make a statement like “I’m SO pissed right now!” to get sympathy in comments, but when people ask what’s wrong they refuse to explain.
13. Providing play-by-play for every menial task on their to-do list: “Today I have to go to the bank, then go do this laundry, and pick up some bobby pins from Walgreens…”
14. Announce they need a “new start” and therefore will be deleting dozens of Facebook friends.
15. Complain that they don’t understand “that Twitter thing” and will never EVER use it.
If this really offends you then I would guess that most of these apply to you. Take it in the spirit it was given, not trying to be mean, just sharing some insight.