by Kenneth Hines, Jr.
A new year with a new series!
For the past half a year, I've been asked about doing a new series and I've been stunned by all the emails I've gotten with so many personal questions in regards to peoples relationships, males & females. Thanks to all of you, I decided to do a new 3 part series for 2011. This series will be different from my summer 3 segment series of 2010. Thanks to those who responded so positively to my quite in-depth writings on relationships from last year as well, I greatly appreciated it!
Have you ever been in a situation to where you met someone, but your memory of your past relationship has kept you from allowing yourself to meet someone else or trust someone else? Or better yet, have you been in a relationship and it ends due to your partner suspecting certain acts that were non existence?
Quick notes to remember;
Stop blaming everyone else for what goes on in your life and start checking yourself and see what problems lie in you from the start.
If you find it difficult to be ALONE, then don't think having someone in your life will make it better. How can you expect someone to be with you when YOU CAN'T EVEN BE WITH YOURSELF?
If you can't find the right person in your life, stop trying to say its certain people responsible for your miserable life and the reason why you can't find someone who's NOT going to hurt you or cheat on you.
Stop trying to find happiness through someone else and try to find happiness within your self because truth be told, YOU DON'T NEED ANOTHER PERSON IN YOUR LIFE TO MAKE YOU HAPPY!!!!!!!
Don't make the bold assessment that all men or all women aren't right and can't back it up with facts! 9.9 out of 10 times the problem began with you and you just won't tell anyone or you're just not willing to admit to your flaws, which all of us as humans have!
If your life is messed up, don't try to meet and bring someone into your screwed up life! If you do then expect the consequences that may follow from that, such as frustration, breakups and stress!
Never try to give someone the life in which you haven't given to yourself yet. A relationship is the same as caring for yourself alone. Show it to yourself before you try it to someone else.
Having a true relationship with Christ is the bridge to having a blessed relationship.
It takes a short time to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget the hurt of a relationship.
Breaking a woman's heart is the worst record a man can ever have in his reputation...
Love is a word with significant power, authority and effects.
Don't be captivated by the appearance, be captivated by that persons soul and spirit
Be lost with the one you love and care for, not lost in those among the world around you!
IMPORTANT: Don't let your ego of a guy or girl interfere with you meeting someone. Someone's actions DON'T apply to another person so don't make them apart of your frustration as you may be refusing to accepting someone who does have a God given reason to be in your life.
1. | Scenario - A woman who's done wrong by a guy that she now thinks all men are not right and then something I've noticed thanks to Facebook, its obvious when a guy has done them wrong because I see many won't write a guy they don't know or have never met. It's funny I have a few on my profile like that and those who caught my last 3 part relationship blog began writing me afterwards.
- I found it very ironic and astounding to say the least. Why is it that there are women who will avoid guys altogether like that? Why would you treat someone you don't even KNOW like he's done something to you to hurt you? I don't know the guys some of you have met and who has done you wrong but let me set the record straight, try that with me and you won't get far. I'm not your enemy so don't try and punish me over something I had nothing to do with. It happens so much and I see it a lot here on these social networks and in public. There are many females who say "Oh you guys ALL say the same thing and that you're this or that but you're ALL the same". That's not true. I have majority female friends so why would I want to talk to someone and hurt them? That's not a style of mine at all.
- So many let that built up hurt stay with them and let it affect their mind for others they meet. Mindsets as these will leave you unhappy, for both male and females!!!!! If you let a person ruin your life and change your lifes path then you're the fool for doing so. There should never be a person who can ever make you change your character just because of what they did or didn't do to you!!!!
2. | Scenario - A woman has been with a guy for 5, 10 or however many years and the guy has not made a move to commit to her yet but yet she still sticks with him regardless of that. His reason is that he isn't ready or isn't sure yet and needs more time, and the woman accepts that.
- If you're in a situation where you're with a guy and have been dating him for years of say 5+ years, IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON! There are many females in situations like this and thinking, oh I love him and always want to be with him no matter what... well why haven't you come to the conclusion that he doesn't want to be with you?! It does NOT take that long to decide on if you're really committed to someone and to decide if you love them or not. Stop trying to hold on to what may never end in materializing into being as you're wasting your life waiting vs taking your life on to someone who has their mentality in order to make a decision without 5, 10 or 15 years to decide. Truth be told, many guys will drag you for the simple fact committing to one person is saying he has to give up that little black book. It's like a male game, being able to talk to whoever you want without being attached to anyone, but that feeling is lost once you commit to someone. It is difficult to let go of routine, but what's worth more in the end is what counts most... the one you "truly" love & want to be with.
- It may hurt to leave your first love or the one you've truly found an interest in, but the worst hurt from the situation is coming from entrusting in someone so much and loving them, but you not getting the same results from the other person. One may hate to look back on a situation that they really want to work, but be excited about your future, be excited about a new beginning as your best days are in front of you!
Let your past go away. That's something easier said than done. IT DOESN'T MATTER who's hurt you previously, what matters is who cares for you in the present. Don't let hurt, pain and past emotions detach you from what's important, don't let it detach you from meeting great people who can be a blessing in your life. It hurts to open your heart to others, but it hurts even more when you miss out on that special chance based on the acts of others. We're all human and we all will make mistakes, its a way of life that will be here forever.
Everything you do in life involves putting a little trust in people, going out to eat... you have to trust that they're clean, will give you your check and it be totaled correctly. Starting a business, putting trust in people to help you along, help in obtaining business and so forth. With relationships, you have to trust that they won't hurt you. From all of those, its never 100%, but you have to do it at some point.
Opportunities of a lifetime must be seized in the lifetime of the opportunity. There's never anything you will face that God won't give you and bless you with the full potential of the blessing that is waiting with your name on it. Anyone can say they love you at your high and low points of your life but one thing about God is that he never sees you differently regardless of where your life is at that moment. He loves you at all the times and points within your life. Be mindful and proclaim God's amazing grace and when you think there is no one out there or anyone cares, just remember God will always love you. He will love you when you don't even love yourself, because in his book you're an amazing wonder! It's an amazing thing to how easy it is to love him... because he's just that wonderful.
Don't think your life is full of negatives and dead-ends, realize that your road hasn't been fully paved for you yet ;-) You're just ahead of your time. One thing about everyones life is that it's the only book that's published... but hasn't been lived yet, its your job to live your lifes published book which God has already written out for you, if you just walk by faith in it!
Until we meet again...
© 2011 Kenneth Hines, Jr.