by Gray Graham
It would seem in America today that fathers are no longer needed and definitely not wanted. For us the concept of father has been replaced with parent. It is no longer believed that a man brings anything different than a woman to a child's life.
I know what you are thinking right about now, I see a lot of people saying how they miss their father or women that want a man to be a father for their children. These people have a long list of tasks that they want to give to some man so that he can fulfill their idea of what a father should be. In most cases this man is nothing more than an ATM, butler, and maintenance man that does what he is told.
But see that is not how being a father works. A father is suppose to be the person that sets the tone for his family. He should be doing everything he can to protect and provide for his wife and his children. He should be the guiding force of wisdom and knowledge. He should be the one that creates the family not someone that is just added to the mix when it is desired by others.
See in America today for at least half of the families, there is no father in the picture. Never has been and never will be. There may be several men that will play different roles over the years, but never an actually father. As you can guess this leaves a lot of scars for the children that most of the time never heal.
Regardless of how many studies are done that clearly show that children are much better off coming from a loving two-parent home with a mother and a father, many still deny that it is needed especially for boys that need to learn how to be a man. I have seen some of the most ardent feminist state that she needs to find a man to teach her son how to be a man and do man things. For it would seem that many women do not understand the importance of men until they have a son and they observe that he is missing a quality that they did not realize existed before.
And we can not forget our daughters. It is often said that most women either look for love in someone that is like their father if they had a great one or the opposite if they dislike their fathers. It is so important that girls grow up with a man that can show them through personal actions what a man should be like so that she can avoid those that do not possess those traits by not looking for that missing love in all the wrong places.
Of course the main reason so many children don't have a father is because so many of their mothers do not have a husband. So many children come into this world as an afterthought or “accident” where no loving bond was ever formed between their mother and father. In many cases there was not even a relationship, just lust and then a child.
So what does our society do for all of these children, it tries to force these men to be a father, or at the very least pay for them. We often joke about how you can't force a man to be your husband, but apparently you can force him to be a father. Of course this does not work. You can not force a man to take up a role that he never wanted regardless of how many court order or liens you place on him, if he does not want to be a father he is not going to be a father and if he does not have a relationship with the mother he is not likely going to want to be a father to the children.
Then of course there is the guilt that is placed on men in general, to pick up the slack, to be father to all these children that do not have one at home. It is always stated that it is every man's responsibility and duty to raise the children of people that made bad life choices. First it starts with the woman's father, brothers, and male cousins. If she doesn't have those then it is going to be the youth minister at church or the kid's coach. As a last resort it is going to be the current boyfriend, but understand every man in her life is going to be asked and it will be expected that he play the role of father. A few men do take on the role but it seems that most do not since that missing father figure void never gets filled for most of the fatherless.
Women can't be fathers regardless of how great a person or parent that they are. It doesn't matter how much money she makes, how much power she obtains, how many cigars she smokes, or how many pants suits she wears, a woman can not be a man. Only a man can be a man and only a man can be a father. While for many a father is not wanted looking at our society you can absolutely tell they are needed.