by Gray Graham
Part 7 of our: The Key To A Happy,Loving Marriage series
I know many will disagree with me on our last point but it is something that those of us that have been married for a long time in the Spirit fully understand.
There are many people that get married, but there are very few people that actually join together in a holy union. I doubt there are many people that even wish to be in such a union anymore. We as a society have become so focused on self that we don't even know what it means to be a husband and a wife. This is why so many of us call our spouse our friend.
In many cases that is all our spouse is. They are our best friend. Someone we can talk to and they make us feel good. We enjoy being around them and feel at peace when we are with them. The world becomes a better place when we are together.
Best friends are nice but they are not a spouse. Most people would not put their best friends on the same level as their parents and children, but they will put them on the same level as their spouse. Think about how many best friends you have or have had in your life. Do you want that many spouses as well?
A marriage is more than a friendship that makes you feel good.. It is a lifetime commitment. It is a relationship like none other in our lives. That just isn't the case anymore. A spouse today is nothing more than a casual friend to be discarded when we become bored and they are not any fun anymore.
A lot of people try to say they mean a friend like we have in Jesus. My response to that is always the same. I ask them is their love for their spouse unconditional? If your husband became broke tomorrow would you still be around? When your wife gets old and maybe fat are you still going to be there? What about when illness comes or passions change how long will you be there?
While most people are going to say yes to these questions, divorce rates tell us that the answer for many is no. And that is probably the biggest issue when it comes to having a long happy loving marriage. Many people say one thing, but then they do something else.
If the strongest way you can express your feelings for a potential spouse is friendship, then they probably are not the one for you. Unlike days in the past we all have the freedom to choose our spouse and they can choose us in return. They also can leave anytime they wish.
More than ever we should learn the lessons about marriage found in the Bible and let the Spirit guide us in our choice of a spouse. God is the focus of every successful Christian marriage. When we focus on anything other than God then that is when we have problems.
Jesus tells us that a marriage is between a man and a woman. They come together as one to form a union joined together before God. This is the most important key to marriage for followers of Jesus Christ.