by Gray Graham
Now I just talked about this in my last podcast, but of course this is an ongoing topic that I literally see every single day on social media.
Last night on Twitter after the Holtzclaw verdict, some African American women took it upon themselves to lodge some complaints against African American men that they feel are not supporting them. Some decided to let them vent because they were hurting, others decided to confront them for their false beliefs and this harmful stereotype.
What I am going to do is just expand on what I said in the podcast. Now I am a God-fearing man. I live my life in service of Him. In the African American community, the vast majority of the “good men” are all going to be highly religious men. They take care of their wives, their children, they help out the community, they help out at church, and they lead their families.
Now as I shared with you before the men that we consider not the good men, make sure to take care of their children and also provide support to those in their circles. They are not going to be in monogamous relationships but they make sure that is known up front.
After speaking with a lot of the women that often say African American men don't support them, I have found that they reject the religious lifestyle that the men that are considered “good men” live. A religious man has been raised by his parents to be the leader of his family. He has been taught that it is his job to take care of and provide for his family. He loves his wife and gives her all the support she needs in her life but it is understood that in the end he is the leader of his house and his wife is by his side. They go through life as one making decisions for their family together.
This is not going to work for these African American women on Twitter who have chosen to live a lifestyle that does not fit with the structure of the religious family. As we know for the past few generations in the African American community we have had families that fall outside the traditional family structure.
So no there are not going to be a lot of African American men who are okay with women leading them especially when we as a community are being attacked by white men. No there are not a lot of African American men that support this brand of feminism especially when it goes against what he has been taught by the women of his family. Many of the causes these women are fighting, the African American man does not support so why would he be joining their fight?
I have asked many of the African American women I know professionally and personally about this and they all say the same things I am saying now so I am not saying anything that is ground breaking.
I don't expect this to change any minds. I learned a long time ago that people don't simply want to live in peace. They want to make you change your beliefs so that it matches theirs. This is why you will have women that will constantly proclaim how they are strong and independent and don't need a man in their life in one breath, and in the next breath they will say how the struggle is too hard and why doesn't a man want to come help her in the next breath.
If you are an African American woman and you have chosen to live your life in a way that is not acceptable to some African American men then you are going to have to come to terms with that. I don't know a single African American man that would not die to protect his wife, mother, and the women of his family which is exactly what he is suppose to be doing.
I have watched as many of these women have rejected the help of many African American men because they said they were trying to take over their cause. So even the men that are trying to help have been repeatedly rejected.
Instead of admitting this we have to see daily how African American men are not helping African American women. We completely ignore the work that so many do, not only for their families but the African American community at large.
This is a systemic problem that keeps us divided and divided we can not accomplish what we need to do. I would suggest that more people spend time building personal relationships which will bring you the peace and love to your soul that so many African American women say they are missing.
There is a reason God made us this way and it is also the reason so many men of God embrace the responsibilities given to them. In life it is always easier to follow God.