by Gray Graham
Believe it or not I am often asked this question by the many women I speak with almost on a daily basis. These are often women who attend church regularly, study the Bible, and have very successful careers. They do not have any children because they are not married. They are at home on Saturday night getting ready for church the next day. They volunteer, serve the community, and are often cornerstones of their families.
These are not the type of women that are often belittled by so many “Christian” men on a daily basis as not being “good women” (not that all women are not due respect whether they know it or not but that is another post for another day). No these are the good women. The kind that your mother wants to give her grandchildren. The all to popular today Proverbs 31 woman.
Yet for some reason there are not enough men today stepping up to marry these women, start families, and make our communities stronger. Take a moment and think, how many Christian 30 something single men do you know that are not married? Ask them and they more than likely will tell you several women that they think would make a fine wife, yet they are not married.
So we have to ask the question, what are Christian men today being taught that is keeping them from being married. We have already established that there are women out there to marry and have as a wife, so why are men not asking for their hand in marriage?
After a few years examining this trend I must say that I am finding that there really are not that many men that are trying to be that idea Christian husband loving his wife as Jesus loves the church. Sure there are a lot of “descent type dudes” out there that half way care about the many women they are currently having sex, but there are not many men willing to give that up and even less that even attempt resist those temptations in the first place.
I know a lot of people like to blame women for this trend. I mean if there were more women with higher standards not willing to sleep around then men would have to be on their A game from the beginning, right? But that is really a cop out. If most men were about doing what they were suppose to do in the first place then they wouldn't even notice those women and they surely wouldn't be tempted by them.
Now let's look at those men that do get married. How many are truly trying to be the leader of the house. How many wake up on Sunday morning and say let's go to church? How many are leading their families in prayer? How many are setting the tone of authority for their children? How many are leading their families on a path to God? I think I know more families where the woman is the minister and the husband is over on the sidelines being a cheerleader if present at all.
I know there are going to be more than a few folks out there that are going to call me old fashion and not keeping up with the times. That I am trying to preach about men controlling and subjugating women. That women can do the same job as men in the house and it worked just fine for their mother and father.
To all of this I say, well I am looking at the results of people doing things their way verses what Jesus taught and I must say that those results are not looking too bright right now for a whole lot of people in America today. As a woman I know tells me all the time, we have roles for a reason.